Friday, April 27, 2007

Strawberry fields forever


One great thing about living in Middle Georgia is that, if there is a food, we have a festival.
Vidalia gives us the Onion Festival.
Fort Valley brings us the Peach Festival.
Cordele is the place for the Watermelon Days.
Vienna is home of the Big Pig Jig, which is the state barbecue championship.
This may come as a surprise but Plains has a Peanut Festival.
And little Yatesville has the Chitlin’ Hoedown. (Chitlins are not exactly my choice for gourmet dining, but some folks apparently like them. They sell about two tons of the stuff.)
One of my favorite eating events is the annual Georgia Strawberry Festival in Reynolds. This year marks the ninth year of the festival. I’m heading over there on Saturday for the third straight year.
I’ll be with buddy Bruce Goddard, a native of Reynolds, selling books and CDs. So come by and see us.

There’s everything from a teddy bear parade to lawn mower races. And, of course, the usual music, food and arts and crafts. I’m looking forward to all the goodies in the Flint Energies Strawberry Cookoff. I’ve been asked to be a judge again.
Yummy. I love this time of year.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Busted


Crime suspect Harper Lee was booked on Wednesday

Harper Lee Grisamore, 2, of Lower Bolingbroke, was arrested Wednesday for destruction of private property and cruelty to humans.

The black-and-white dog, a stray the Grisamores adopted two years ago, destroyed the family’s remote control for the second time in three months.

Delinda Grisamore discovered the wounded remote in the recliner early Tuesday morning. She was most distraught over the prospects of being unable to watch her favorite shows on the Home & Garden TV network. Or having to change channels manually.

She blamed Ed Grisamore, the dog’s co-owner, for dozing off in the recliner Monday night and leaving the remote in the chair, where it met an untimely death.

No paw prints were taken at the crime scene. The dog’s teeth marks were submitted as evidence after destroying the “Auxilary” button, the “Menu” key and inflicting major damage on the TV/Video Input controls.

“Since we can’t press the remote buttons, we will have to press charges,’’ said Ed Grisamore.

Late Wednesday afternoon, Grisamore ordered a new remote from Dish Network. After a quick review of the family’s records, the operator asked: “Did your dog chew the remote again?”

Harper Lee, named after the famous novelist who wrote “To Kill a Mockingbird,” has chewed numerous other items in the Grisamore household, including shoes, socks, eyeglasses, jewelry, Christmas ornaments and the wires to the automatic garage door opener.

“If this dog wrote a book, it would have to be called ‘To Kill a Remote,’ ’’ said Grisamore. “I just wish she would show some remorse. Remorse for the remote.’’


Pardon the pun, but stay tuned.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What part of ‘NO’ don’t you understand













One of the first words a child learns is “No.”
Maybe it’s because they hear it so much.
That’s why I can’t understand why so many people don’t know the meaning of “no” as they get older. It’s the simplest and most-direct of commands.
Actually, they do know the meaning of the two-letter word. They just choose to ignore it. They intentionally disobey.
On the way to work this morning, I compiled a “No” list. Many of them deal with traffic and driving, but I’ve got some others on there, too. Feel free to add your own.
No Parking.
No Left Turn.
No Trespassing.
No Smoking.
No Dumping.
No Littering.
No Loitering.
No Fishing from Bridge.
No Cell Phones.
No Jake Brakes (What exactly does this mean?)
No Entry.
No Exit.
No Drugs or Alcohol Allowed.
No Soliciting.
No One Under 18 Admitted.
No Passing Zone.
No Pets Allowed.
No Admittance.
No Cameras.
No Kite Flying.
No Food or Drinks.
No Trucks Allowed.
No Hunting.
No Diving.
No Stopping.
No Shirt. No Shoes. No Service.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Supply and demand



“Only God can make a tree, but I'm in charge of seeds and weeds!’’ -- Author Unknown

There are six days left in the month of April. The bills are due. There’s too much month left at the end of the money.

So we’ll have a yard sale.

Yes, a REAL yard sale.

I got a chuckle from the idea this North Macon family had.

Weeds For Sale

U-Pick

Wow! An opportunity to get rid of something you don’t want and make some money in the process.

Why is it when the grass won’t grow and the flowers struggle in their beds, the weeds seem to prosper? It's why we have to arm ourselves with weed killers, weed and feed fertilizers and weed eaters.

So maybe this is an idea whose time has come.

I wonder if I’ll get any prospective buyers.

Monday, April 23, 2007

What's good for the goose ...



Bill Buckley, my friend and co-author of “Once Upon a Whoopee,’’ sent me these photos he took from his farm in Wilcox County.

While sitting on his porch early Sunday morning with his wife, Jan, they noticed the two Canadian Geese that had taken up residence on their pond had suddenly multiplied.

Five baby geese were born on the pond’s island this past week.

“They chose this morning to take their first family swim,’’ said Bill. “Dad on one side, mom on the other. Teamwork!’’

It reminded me of an essay a neighbor gave me a few years ago called “The Lesson of the Geese.’’ It has been used by businesses, corporations and organizations to emphasize the importance of working together.

It was taken from a speech by author and anthropologist Angeles Arrien in 1991. The original authorship has been credited to two different men – Milton Olson and Robert McNeish.

We all can learn something from this.

Fact: As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock has 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.
Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier, because they are traveling on the thrust of each other.

Fact: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.
Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact: When the lead bird tires, it rotates back into the formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.
Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each others’ skills, capabilities, and unique arrangement of gifts, talents, or resources.

Fact: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and to encourage the heart and core values of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation to catch up with the flock.
Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we’re strong.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Take this job and love it



I spoke at the annual career day at Dodge County High School on Friday morning. There were 66 professionals there to give students advice on everything from banking to real estate to diesel mechanics.

Something interesting happened to me on the way back to Macon. I stopped at the McDonald's in Cochran for a mid-morning Coca-Cola.

The girl at the counter took a look at me and asked: "Are you a professor?"

It was a logical question. The campus at Middle Georgia College was just a few blocks away. I had on a coat and tie. I guess I looked like I might have just returned from giving a lecture.

"No," I said.

She looked a little disappointed.

"Well, you sure look like a professor,'' she said. "Let me guess. You're a lawyer.''

Now that hurt.

"No, I'm not a lawyer, either,'' I said.

My mind fresh from career day 20 miles down the road, I could have told this girl I was anything.

Astronaut. FBI agent. Movie star. All those things I once wanted to be.

I decided to have a little fun.

"A preacher,'' I said.

That was not entirely stretching the truth. I have been known to preach.

"Yeah, I can see it now,'' she said. "A preacher.''

"Well, not really,'' I said. "I was just joking. I'm a writer for the Telegraph.''

There was an awkward silence.

"Oh,'' she said.

I knew I should have told her I was a matador
.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Forever B.C.

Many of the national editorial cartoonists have paid tribute to Johnny Hart, creator of the comic strip B.C., who died on April 7.

As I mentioned in a couple of blogs and a column last week, Hart had strong connections to Macon and Middle Georgia. He once worked for the public information office at Robins Air Force Base. He met his wife, Bobby, who was a nurse in Macon. They lived in Macon as newlyweds.

Hart’s in-laws, Wiley and Fran Baxter, still live in Macon. Wiley Baxter, who lost his leg during World War II, is the inspiration behind Hart’s peg-legged caveman character.

Here are some of the memorial cartoons:



Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The CAT: Columnist Aptitude Test


Today is National Columnists Day.
Bet it's not even on your calendar. Bet you forgot to get me a card.
That’s OK. It doesn’t carry the same weight as Mother’s Day. There are no hams baking in the oven. No big sales at the mall.
National Columnists Day is not self-serving. The National Society of Newspaper Columnists simply urges those of us in the profession to "write a column about how great it is to be a columnist.''
April 18 is the day we observe because it is the anniversary of the death of Ernie Pyle, considered the patron saint of columnists. Pyle, the famed World War II correspondent, wrote about common folks on the front lines of life trying to make a difference in the world.
On April 18, 1945, he was killed by Japanese machine gun fire on a tiny island in the Pacific. He died with his boots on. He died doing what he loved the most --- writing and reporting.
A few years ago, after I participated in a career day at one of the local high schools, I came up with an aptitude test for column writing. Here’s the test again – with a few revisions. You’re welcome to take the test.
1. Where does a columnist get most of his ideas?
A) Research journals. B) Interviews with experts and intellectuals. C) Discussions with various professionals. D) Funny paper.
2. A columnist makes enough money to own which of the following?
A) Mercerdes. B) Beach condo. C) Original Picasso painting. D) Lawn mower.
3. What is the No. 1 prerequisite for the job?
A) Being able to type 65 words per minute. B) Minimum SAT score of 1550. C) Masters degree in journalism and Ph.D. in philosophy. D) A patient and understanding wife.
4. What does a columnist eat for breakfast?
A) High-fiber cereal. B) Omelets and whole-wheat bagels. C) Strawberries and yogurt. D) Nails.
5. What does a columnist have for dinner?
A) Prime rib. B) French wine. C) Baked Alaska. D) Maalox.
6. Columnists demand solitude while they are writing. Where is the best place to find some peace and quiet?
A) Roof. B) Library. C) Chapel. D) Mercer basketball games.
7. A columnist defines "research" as which of the following?
A) An afternoon poring over clip files and microfilm. B) An afternoon digging through records at the courthouse. C) An afternoon muck-raking over at City Hall. D) An afternoon on the golf course.
8. When it is necessary to turn to other media for information, what is a columnist's best source?
A) CNN. B) Smithsonian magazine. C) Talk radio. D) The Andy Griffith Show.
9. Every columnist needs somebody to pick on. What are the favorite targets of columnists?
A) Politicians. B) Politicians. C) Politicians. D) Politicians.
10. In order to produce columns four times a week, one must keep up with current events. A columnist culls his best material from which of the following?
A) International affairs. B) National affairs. C) Regional affairs. D) White House intern affairs.
11. Since a columnist is in the public eye, what is the required dress code?
A) He must own his own tuxedo. B) He must dry-clean his shirts and polish his shoes. C) He never is allowed to participate in company "dress-down" days. D) He must remember to change his socks.
12. When a columnist suffers from writer's block and runs dry of ideas, is it permissible to "borrow" a column written by another columnist?
A) No! Plagiarism is strictly prohibited by law. B) No! It is a violation of the journalism code of ethics. C) No! Most editors consider stealing another writer's work a firing offense. D) Grizzard? Grisamore? Hey, at least they sound alike!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Too pooped to pedal

At some point about 4:33 p.m. on Monday, I suddenly got very tired.

Pooped. Worn out. Exhausted. Weary.

My leg muscles ached. My tongue was hanging out. I was gasping for breath.

And I wasn’t really doing anything.

Well, actually I was doing something. I was watching the cyclists take on the downtown loop in Stage 1 finals of the Tour de Georgia.

They had already pedaled more than 90 miles from Peachtree City. They had battled gusts of wind, the rolling hills of the Piedmont and stayed together like a little swarm of hornets as they orbited city streets without having to obey any traffic laws regarding stop signs, traffic lights and speed limits.

I was getting tired just watching them try to find the torque in their legs to pull the hill at Plum Street, and then up past Five Points to High Street, where the road turns into a surface of century-old bricks.

I’m sure it’s not the steepest hill the cyclists will encounter over the next six days. But it’s a grueling incline with a tricky terrain. (And one of the best places to watch the cyclists because they aren’t zipping by you at high speeds.)

They have to put it in another gear to get up that hill, and it will wear you out just observing it.

I slept well Monday night, and all I did was watch.


Monday, April 16, 2007

Where center stage began


I posted some of this back on Jackie Robinson’s birthday on Jan. 31, because it somehow seemed very appropriate then. Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith had just become the first two African-American head coaches in the NFL to make it to the Super Bowl. It was also the eve of Black History Month.
But I wanted to dust it off for today, too, because Sunday was the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking baseball’s color barrier. All of major league baseball celebrated that historic date – April 15, 1947 – at games played on Sunday.
In the summer of 1993, I drove down to Cairo and, with the help of a friend, found the old shack where he was born a few miles outside of town.
Here is the column I wrote about my adventure on June 27, 1993. My descriptions of that experience are mentioned in the first chapter of the book, “Great Time Coming: The Life of Jackie Robins, from Baseball to Birmingham” by David Falkner.
ON THE ROAD TO CALVARY -- Highway 111 turns to the south in Cairo. It winds past rich farmland toward Calvary, a town about as deep as you can go without stepping over the state line into Florida.
The directions called for us to cross four bridges, then turn left on a county road. We found the dirt road to the old Jim Sasser plantation about a mile ahead, and we drove slowly through a south Georgia thunderstorm.
I searched the cornfield on the left side of the dirt road. My friend's eyes combed the thicket on the right.
"Stop! There it is!" he shouted. I hit the brakes, and it seemed neither of us could open the car doors fast enough. The remains of the chimney were about 20 feet from the road.
It was all that was left of the house where Jackie Robinson was born.
"I'm getting chill bumps," I told my friend. I suspected his heart was also racing. We found a cornerstone under some wet leaves and a few crumbled bricks on the ground. A crepe myrtle branched out near the chimney.
I tried to picture what the house must have looked like in 1919, the year Robinson was born. I tried to imagine I was now standing on the same ground where he took his first steps as a child.
His father had been a sharecropper. His grandfather had been a slave. I stood near the fireplace that kept everyone warm that winter, when his mother gave birth to him during the Spanish Flu epidemic.
History was not made here. It was born. No other athlete in the 20th century had such a profound social impact. Had it not been for Jackie Robinson, there might not have been a Hank Aaron or a Willie Mays or a Reggie Jackson.
I'm not quite sure why I drove nearly 180 miles in search of Robinson's birthplace. I knew there wasn't much left of it. He only lived in the house until he was 16 months old. After his father deserted the family, his mother put her five children on a train and moved them to California.
She hoped to free them from the shackles of a plantation system that still existed in the deep South nearly a half century after slavery ended.
I guess it was curiosity that led me to the ruins of Robinson's homestead. I knew that many people in Georgia, and even some in Cairo, were unaware he was born here.
A Pennsylvania couple once sent the local chamber of commerce a Louisville Slugger bat Robinson had autographed. But that is pale compared to what you will find in Royston, the home of Ty Cobb. Signs everywhere let you know the Georgia Peach was born in the northeast Georgia town. There also is a small museum.
On the outskirts of Cairo, where the nickname of the local high school team is the Syrup Makers, there is only a chimney hidden by trees on a lonely dirt road. I found it kind of sad Robinson came and went before people here could claim him as one of their own.
When my friend and I stopped at the public library in Cairo to research Robinson's roots, we were told several unsuccessful attempts had been made to locate people who might have known the Robinson family.
So, we drove nine miles in the rain to find the unmarked birthplace of a legend.
I thought a lot about Robinson while driving back to Macon. I thought about how he left that dirt road behind and blazed a trail for millions of other black athletes.
He could have been inducted into the Hall of Fame based on courage alone. But he also proved he was a superb player in his 10-year career with the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Robinson, who died in 1972, will best be remembered for his ability to endure unspeakable abuse without fighting back when he broke baseball's color barrier in 1947. Even though Joe Louis was the heavyweight champion at the time, the presence of a black athlete at the top of the boxing world did not carry the same symbol of social change Robinson delivered as a black in the baseball arena.
A target of hatred and a victim of ignorance, Robinson must have grown weary of turning the other cheek. The most important lesson for all of us is that he never stopped turning it.
When I got home, I found the words of Roger Kahn, who wrote "The Boys of Summer."
"Like a few, very few athletes, Robinson did not merely play at center stage," Kahn wrote. "He was center stage; and where he walked, center stage moved with him."
But only the memory, along with a few scattered bricks, has been preserved from the place where center stage began.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Matters of the Hart

I am going to completely ignore the fact that today is Friday the 13th. There is too much going on to get carried away with that.

For one, the local connections to cartoonist Johnny Hart just keep on coming.
(The memorial service for the creator of the B.C. comic strip will be held today in Ninevah, N.Y.)

This is from a local chiropractor, J.C. Smith of Smith Spinal Care of Warner Robins:

Dear Gris, enjoyed your article about Johnny Hart this morning. For years I took care of his niece, who introduced me to Johnny. One day years ago I cut out one of his cartoons that dealt with my profession of chiropractic. She saw this and a month later brought me the original autographed by Johnny. In all, I have 7 cartoons that he signed for me, including one idea that I sent to him and he did as a cartoon
.

Got another note from Kate West who wrote:

Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your Johnny Hart story - what a great story and it was well written. I grew up in Thomasville, Ga. And interviewed Mr. Hart during a visit to Boston, Ga. in 1988. I was a senior in high school and was so impressed by how nice he was to grant me an interview for a high school newspaper.

Here are several autographed B.C. strips Smith sent me. Enjoy!!!









Thursday, April 12, 2007

A verb can make a difference


(Photos courtesy of Linda Horky)

I spent my Wednesday morning reading to a second-grade class at Pearl Stephens Elementary School in Warner Robins.

It was part of the “Celebrity Read” for the Warner Robins chapter of the American Association of University Women (AAUW). This group has sponsored a “Reading is Fundamental” program in several elementary schools in Houston County. These “Celebrity Reads” are usually held twice a year, in the fall and spring.

Over the past few years, I have read to classes at several schools, including Lindsey, Parkwood, Westside, Sullivan, Pearl Stephens and Perry.

It started for me in 1998, when I became involved locally with the Rolling Readers program. Over the next eight years, I was a regular at least once a week in five different schools in Bibb County – Bruce, Lane, Tinsley, Sonny Carter and Morgan.

I’ve always found it very rewarding. You don’t reach ALL the kids, but if you can make a difference in the lives of some of them, it makes it all worthwhile.

On Wednesday at Pearl Stephens, I read them several poems from one of my favorites – Shel Silverstein. I read from “Where the Sidewalk Ends” and “A Light in the Attic.’’

They loved the “Recipe for a Hippopotamus Sandwich.’’ I have asked their teacher to get them to write their own recipes and send them to me.

See what reading can do? A noun. A verb. An adjective. They all can make a difference.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Blue light special

I’ve never met Dennis Kocken. Wouldn’t know him if he walked up and rang my doorbell.

Wouldn’t recognize if I passed him on the street or sat next to him in church. He’s not on my speed dial. He’s never been on my Christmas card list. He didn’t sign my high school annual.

But I’m granting him a “True Gris” award for honesty in law enforcement, even though he lives in a town 839 miles away.

Kocken is the sheriff in Brown County, Wisconsin, which happens to be home of the Green Bay Packers but has nothing to do with his story.

In case you missed it, Kocken wrote himself a ticket a few weeks ago for an unsafe lane change. He rear-ended a suspected speeder who had slowed to turn.
He issued himself a ticket, which carries at $160.80 fine, because he believes it was the “right thing to do.’’

"As sheriff, I'm held to the highest standard in law enforcement,’’ he said. “ How can I hold officers accountable if I don't hold myself accountable?" "I'm satisfied I'm doing the right thing."

I hope other public defenders are listening. Unless you’re chasing a drug-dealing, gun-toting criminal or in hot pursuit of a wild pack of terrorists headed down I-75, you’re supposed to obey the traffic laws just like everybody else.

If not, pull yourself over and give yourself a blue-light special.

You have the right to remain silent.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

An appreciation of Johnny Hart (1931-2007)


The house where Johnny Hart drew some of his earliest caveman caricatures is no longer there.

It was an upstairs apartment in a house on Georgia Avenue in 1955. It rested along the back slope of College Hill, where the Wesleyan Conservatory used to be before it burned (now Macon’s main post office). It was up from the old Pig and Whistle Drive-In – it, too, now just a memory.

Guess there must have been something in the ink. A block up the hill on Arlington Place, playwright Tennessee Williams wrote part of his famous play, “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” during his stay in Macon during the summer of 1942.

I’ve thought about that these past few sad days. Hart died Saturday at his home in New York. His comic strip, “B.C.” is syndicated in 1,300 newspapers, making it the most widely read comic strip in the world.

And part of it was born right here in Macon. Hart lived here with his wife, Bobby, when they were newlyweds. He was a graphic artist who worked at Robins Air Force Base. She was a lab technician at the old Macon Hospital.

I had the opportunity to interview Hart in 2003. I was writing a column on his brother-in-law, Wiley Baxter, who lives in Macon. Wiley lost his leg in France during World War II, and Hart created the character “Wiley,’’ the peg-legged caveman poet and coach, in honor of Wiley Baxter.
Wiley’s wife, Fran Baxter, and Bobby Hart are sisters.
I’m writing a column about Hart’s connections in Macon and Warner Robins for Wednesday’s Telegraph and
macon.com
Here is what others are saying about Hart:
Johnny Hart and his wham wham world (New York Times).

Monday, April 09, 2007

Over the hill and far away



Another birthday for me today.

Another year older. Another year wiser?

Just look at all those candles on the cake from a family birthday party this past weekend.

A lot of fire. A lot of smoke.

And a lot of wise cracks.

So if you’ve got any “over the hill” jokes to add, go ahead and throw them on the blog pile.

I’m getting so old …

  • When I tried to straighten out the wrinkles in my socks, I realized I wasn’t wearing any,
  • I’ve been having dreams about prunes.
  • I turned up my hearing aids at the breakfast table and heard the snap, crackle and pop. Problem was, I wasn’t eating Rice Krispies.
  • My favorite part of the paper is “50 Years Ago Today.’’
  • I think Sansabelts look pretty good on me.
  • My summer reading list includes "The World According to AARP."
  • I don’t care where my wife goes, as long as I don’t have to go along.
  • Everything hurts. And what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Spring break



Folks, I'm taking the week off for some much-needed R&R and mental health days.
I've got a honey-do list, so don't think I'm chilling out the whole time.
Check back for some new Gristakes next week.
Thanks for being loyal readers!!!!!