Valentine's Day: Let me translate

At approximately 3:38 p.m. Saturday afternoon, my wife Delinda, came home and announced I did not have to get her anything for Valentine’s Day.

She said she had already bought herself something at Sam’s. She opened the refrigerator door to reveal a Godiva double chocolate cheesecake.

Now this was no ordinary cheesecake, even if it did come from a discount warehouse store called Sam’s.

For one, it costs $15, which amounts to more than $1 a slice.

And listen to the ingredients.

Rich Godiva cheesecake baked with chunks of milk chocolate, topped with chocolate mousse, chocolate ganache and chocolate whipped cream.

Did I mention it has chocolate in it?

You won’t find the word “diet” or “light” anywhere on the box. There are an estimated 460 calories per slice.

I told her she did not have to get me anything for Valentine’s Day. I’ve always considered it one of those “girl” holidays, anyway.

Perhaps trying to justify all the chocolate, she said I didn’t need to get her anything else. She was just going to dive into that cheesecake.

Now, I have been married for 24 years, six months and 21 days, so I know these things by now.
Let me translate what she means when she says I don’t have to get her anything else.

It’s Valentine’s Day, so it would be in my best interest to also have her something shiny or something that smells good.

So I do.