Posts of Christmas Past (Part V)

I love fruit. I am fond of cake. So I should love fruitcake, right?

Not exactly.

I run at the sight of it. I hide at the mention of it. If someone gives me a fruitcake, I seriously believe they do not like me.

Think of your favorite restaurant. Does it have fruitcake on the menu? I doubt it. Have you ever known of an inmate on death row who requested a slice of fruitcake for his final meal before execution? Probably not. Come to think of it, just having to eat it should be considered a form of capital punishment.

There used to be a T-shirt that read: “Puh-lease, not a fruitcake.’’ Songs have been written and blogs have been formed bemoaning the agony of fruitcake.

A book by Diane Lewis, is called “50 Ways to Recycle Fruitcake.’’ Among the suggestions are door stops, paperweights, manhole covers and hockey pucks.

Check out the “I hate fruitcake hate page.”