Write your own fortune
After Jake and I finished eating Chinese at Uncle Chan’s Wednesday night, he opened his fortune cookie.
Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far.
That’s good advice, even for a 12-year-old.
He told me it would be neat if they allowed you to write your own fortune, and I agreed. Delinda later reminded me about the time she cracked open a fortune cookie and the little strip of paper inside was blank.
Now, that can be a real blow to your ego.
Anyway, I put together a short, working list of my own fortunes. Some are original. A few are borrowed. Feel free to post a few of your own.
Here goes:
- Blogging at 5 a.m. can be hazardous to your health.
- Eat Mor Kung Pow Chikin.
- Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
- Man who is too cheap to buy Telegraph newspaper will read it on-line.
- Once you’re over the hill, you start picking up speed.
- Don’t sweat the petty stuff. Don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
- Man who is hungry should really go through the buffet line.
- Hangovers are the wrath of grapes.
- If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
- They won’t ever play your song unless you put a quarter in the jukebox.
- The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
- Never, ever, ever trust a blinker.
- If you’re taking advice from a cookie, you probably could use some counseling.
posted by Ed Grisamore at 5:54 AM
3 Comments:
Fortune cookies:
Never marry anyone until dating their mother or father.
Overweight son is block off the old chip.
Never try to impress another by trying to put a 3-D puzzle together.
Strive not for excellence until attaining mediocrity.
John G. Kelley, Jr.
-If the cookie crumbles, use another recipe.
-Stargazing can land you on the chiropractor couch.
-If there's a tiger in your tank, call me, mine's missing.
-If the shoe fits, order two pair.
-Still waters run deep, so does dumbness.
-I never meet strangers, there're probably my old-in-laws.
-Two can live as cheap as one: that's just dumb rationale.
-Bedwetters make good Laundry workers.
-If you look like your going the wrong way, don't recognize anything except the bullfrog look on your wife's face, it's time to give her the keys.
-Let sleeping dogs lie, especially if it is a rotweiller.
-You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but they make a pretty good wallet. Just don't carry it in your shirt pocket.
If an alligator crosses your path, don't bark.
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