Swing and miss

"For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out at the old ball game."

I’ve had bad days before, but I've never struck out five times in one game.

That’s right. In case you didn’t see the box score from the Atlanta Braves’ game with the Boston Red Sox on Sunday, “slugger” Andruw Jones struck out five times.

Five times! Five whiffs! Five K’s! Fifteen swings and misses and/or called strikes. Five trips back to the dugout with your head down and your tail between your legs.

I’m not a hitting coach or swing doctor, just an armchair manager who has been analyzing Andruw’s batting stance all season and still can’t figure it out.

He looks as if he’s trying to straddle a big puddle or trying not to step in something at home plate. He appears to be so off-balance that when he swings his right knee swoops to the ground like he’s falling down.

I don’t know if anything I’ve ever done can equate with striking out five times in one day.

I’ve been caught in the rain without an umbrella, gotten a bad grade on a high school algebra test and hit my thumb with a hammer.

But strike out five times? Nope.

I’ve stepped in an angry mound of fire ants, eaten a bad cheeseburger for lunch (I paid dearly for it) and run over my cell phone with my right front tire at the gas station.

But five whiffs? Nah.

That’s a pretty rotten day.