Father of the Bride

Bob Setzer has officiated hundreds of weddings in his more than 25 years as a Baptist minister. So he’s seen plenty of nervous and teary-eyed brides.

It was much more personal this past Saturday afternoon, though.

“It’s the first wedding I ever attended where the minister and the bride shared the same handkerchief,’’ he said.

His daughter, Whitney, was married at Macon’s First Baptist Church, where Setzer has served as pastor for the past 10 years.

Whitney is his only child. He and his wife, Bambi, have been preparing all their lives for their daughter’s wedding day. They knew it would be emotional.

“Other people seemed to know better than I how impossible this was,’’ he said. “More than one asked with doubt in their eyes, ‘ “Are you sure you’re going to be able to do this?’ ”

Setzer said he has officiated at the funerals of church members who were also close friends.

“I learned long ago to do my crying before, or after the service, in order to fulfill my responsibility to the family and other mourners,’’ he said. “So while I knew officiating at my daughter’s wedding would be especially difficult, I thought I was equal to the challenge.’’

He underestimated how difficult that would be.

As he walked Whitney into the church at the top of Poplar Street, he could have floated down the aisle on the tears he was fighting back. Still, he felt a responsibility to do the best he could to distance himself from his feelings as a father and function as minister of the occasion. He thought he could make it through without being emotionally overwhelmed.

At the altar, Whitney, who was already weeping, began to sob. And that’s when Bob got very, very, very choked up. What pushed him over the edge was when he prefaced the vows by saying: “And Whitney, you have always been the apple of your father's eye. You always will be. But now your primary loyalty and love is not to me, but to your God and to your husband. Like every competent parent, your mother and I raised you up so in God's good time, we could let you go. We will miss you. But nothing could please us more than for you to have a happy, fulfilling marriage.”

Was there a dry eye in the church? I don’t think so. I felt a few tears rolling down my cheek. After the service, I told my wife it was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever attended.